So everything starts from faith. Faith that Jesus is Lord, and Satan is the devil. I don't think I know for sure, but it's called faith ain't it. I will just keep reminding myself using testimonies. And it's now a struggle between following my heart, or following my mind. I've had very brief encounters with God, but you know what. That's all I have to pull me through this. My mind tells me, be angry, be disappointed. But my mind tells me to trust God. Trust His plan. Say sorry to Him now and trust Him. Stick with Him. Then my heart says why should You stick with Him? How do you know He loves you? Grace you make no sense. And then my mind responds, "
it is impossible to please God except through faith. There is no reason behind why I am choosing to accept reality and be thankful and be happy, except for the fact that I BELIEVE that God loves me and has a plan for me and I believe He will show it to me soon."
I want to follow Jesus because I believe that He loves me and will do as He has promised. END OF STORY.