I think I give in too much to my fears. I care what people want, think, feel of me. And hence I surrender to their whims and fancies. I feel pressured to live up to expectations at home, in class, in band. I know I'm not good enough and it just makes me sink deeper into hopelessness. But I hope to make a change. I mean for God's sake, I'm turning eighteen. If I don't try my best, work at my personality flaws now, when will I? I think it gets harder to change when people grow up. I don't know.
But I'm scared because this is unknown territory. We all make mistakes, I can't be perfect, I'm not perfect.
This entry should be entitled, My first day in the school of hard knocks.